Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I hate me

I am a bad person. I hate me.

This is what I said to myself almost everyday after my shift ends.

I questioned myself why I lose my temper so easily. Am I not right for my job? Am I expecting too much from the agents? Or am I always the person who loses her temper easily? Do I need to go for Anger Management treatment?

Almost everyday I used to tell myself "I will lose my temper tomorrow" but I guess I always lied to myself. The worse part is that I always regret losing my temper at the end of the shift and hated myself.

But sometimes I can't help it. Repeat the same line, resolution more several times a day and the next day is a new beginning - you have to repeat the same resolution all over again and again. There are cases I checked for them and corrected. Then the next day comes, the agent receive almost the same issue handled the day before, checked for the agent again..then you will see the same mistake..and then I corrected that person again. No matter how many times you corrected that person, you will always find the same mistake over and over again.

Yesterday, I almost shout at this person for the repeated mistakes after so many corrections. I said "I have corrected this line each time you handled this kind of issue but see the same mistake each time". To this, the person replied "Sorry, I will take care of it". I sure hope its just not words that came out of that person's mouth.

May be I am really an impatient person with a bad temper. May be I am not right for my job. May be I sometimes find it hard to handle the pressure. May be I should stay home. I really don't know me anymore.

I could use all the prayers I can get.


Jerusha said...

Unaunu - keipoh hei chiah hi lawm 'Ka va han sual tak' tih ringawt hi ka rilru ah a awm a, tiang negative lutuk a in ngaihtuah reng hi a thra lo ka tia, ti toh lo ang hi ka tia mahse ka rilru ah a awm miau sia. Tunlai chu ka tawngtai te hian 'Min ngaidam rawh' tih bak vak hi chu engmah pawh ka sawi ngai lo. Huis. Ka thinchhe bon top bok a keipoh, a tuk ah ngaihdam hi ka dil leh hna hna deuh reng mai, ka temper ka lose hma ltk tlats.

Jerusha said...

Chuan age hi a ni thei ang em? Nula senior sual an lo tih fo ang hi kan lo ni ve dawn ta aniang...haha

toy soldier said...

Hey girl,there was a time when i couldnt even see the difference b/w being confused n being convinced..And I found out that I was taking myself too serious.I know your story is different from mine,but maybe you can do the same,dont take life too serious,just let it go and try making the best you can..
When you feel the need of yelling,let it go.
When you feel the need of apologizing,let it go.

Almost Unreal said...

@jerusha: kei poh in thiam lo trun hian a lom ka haw a, ka tongtainaah poh ngaihdam ka dil thin. Ka mut pah te hian, "Lalpa, ka thinchhe lutuk hi a hrehom ka ti..min tanpui roh" te hi ka ti hian e senoir hri te poh a ni mah na..hahahaha

@toy soldier: thx..yup, may be I shouldnt take things too seriously..but tough..heh

Puia said...

Umm, a pawimawh khawp mai. He topic ang hi kan mizoram sawrkar hnathawk, a bik takin Hmeichhia te tan khian a ni lehzualin ka hria. Mi bengva sa leh hawihhawm sa reng hi kan lo awm bik lo nen, thenkhat phei chu dilchhut tak leh bangbo deuh hu reng mai chi hi kan awm ve bawk a, chutiang ho dawr chu zaidam tak chuan a har ngawt thinin ka ring. CHuvangin in dinhmun hi ka hriatthiampui hle mai che u..:)

Mahse, Mi te tana malsawmna ni tur chuan a te ber( mawl ber) atanga a lian ber (fing ber) thlenga mawihnai taka dawnsawn hram hram erawh kan tum tlang a niang chu..:)

Almost Unreal said...

@puia: thx..nia ni khop mai. Mahse ka thinrim na ber zok hi chu a thoka, agent ho chung ber hi a ni thin. Thla 3 aia rei an thoh toh chuan hre tura ngaih..hriat miah loh..nitin a thara hrilh reng ngai mai hi chu a hahthlak ve deuh thin a zir ka ngai khop mai.

Customer te lakah chuan ka thinrim ngai bangbo poh leh puih an nuam..heh! :D